Now, if you haven’t heard me touch on Simple Truths before, they are deeply profound beliefs, ideas or bits of information that, in the moment, you can neither confirm or deny. They just are, and they shake you to your core. They usually begin as tiny passing thoughts (such as the one I heard that night), but will grow over time into an undeniable screaming in your head. They cannot be ignored.
That night I heard…
What you’re doing isn’t working — it’s time to try something different.
In the context of working out, as well as many things, it was spot on. For years, I had been pushing my body hard, doing certain workouts, eating and obsessing a certain way, etc. It wasn’t working. I hadn’t produced the results I was looking for, so why did I insist on continuing to do the same things over and over?
This, my friend, is the power of Simple Truths. They’re just that, simple. Sometimes they seem obvious, but sometimes we get so wrapped up in working on things that we can’t see the obvious solution: It’s not working, try something different.
The problem is, we’re inundated with a ridiculous amount of information on the Web, from friends and family, the news and everywhere in between. We’re told to lose weight, find a man, grow a business and raise a child in a thousand different ways by a million different people. When this happens, we feel overwhelmed and usually lose touch with our oh-so-important intuitive hits on the matter.
We read that less calories and more working out equals weight loss.
We hear that raising our prices or creating certain offerings equals more clients.
We read that wearing certain things and playing certain games equals a dream man.
When really, there is no set way to do things. Wearing certain clothes and acting a certain way will work for certain people. Pricing your services a certain way and creating certain packages will work for certain people. Eating a certain way and exercising at a certain level will have positive results for certain people.
Certain people means certain people, not everyone.
So when you find that something’s not working, here’s what needs to happen:
1) Acknowledge that it’s not working for you.
No judgment and no negativity. It doesn’t work for you and that’s okay. All that means is… it doesn’t work for you. The only way to discover the things that do work for you is to acknowledge first that the things that seem to work for everyone else, your friends, that gal on TV or the friend of your neighbor’s cousin, doesn’t work for you.
2) Stop trying to make it work.
If it’s not working, it’s time to try something different. What that means is, stop trying to make this thing work for you. If you’ve given it adequate time to “kick in” or for you to see results, and nothing’s happening, then stop trying to force it.
3) Try something different.
It’s really that simple my friends, and I speak completely from experience. Since hearing this Simple Truth that night, I’ve been making massive changes in my life and how I show up in it. I’m making changes in my business, in my relationships, in my exercise and meal plans… everything. What’s not working isn’t working and it’s time to try something different. So what does this mean for you?
Get creative, read a new book or try someone else’s recommendation. Take a look at the options and trust your intuitive response. You know when something’s right for you or if the advice, tips and pointers you’re receiving resonate for you. This is the most important, very overlooked, step to making the shifts you want to see in your life. Yes, there’s a ton of information, but we’re all blessed with this amazing guidance tool. It’s called intuition, gut feelings, a sense of knowing. Trust it.
See what alternative approaches, concepts, people, treatments, resources, programs, processes and the like are out there. Research a bit and then trust your intuition. You’ll know what feels right for you by how your body responds.
4) Repeat as necessary.
Try something different for an adequate amount of time (depending entirely on what you’re trying to accomplish) and see if it works. If not? Start over. Recognize that it’s not working for you, stop doing it and try something different.
Life, goals, businesses, relationships and everything in between are a journey and a process. You’ll change, the people in the picture will change, the circumstances, rules, options and requirements will change. Change is a constant, so make sure that you’re constantly assessing what’s working and what’s not so that you can keep moving forward. It’s okay if things aren’t working, but don’t allow yourself to get stuck.
Take action now…
Where are you not admitting that something isn’t working? Where are you continuing to push forward when it might be time to try something different? No judgment and no negativity. Simply admit what’s not working in your life and explore what you might do differently going forward. Remember, there’s no right answer.
Leave a comment below and share your response with me, I want to know!
Stephenie Zamora is the founder of www.stepheniezamora.com;, a full-service, life-purpose development, design and branding boutique. Here she merges the worlds of personal development and branding to help young women build passion-based businesses. Click here to download her free guide, “The Unexpected Trick to Transforming Your Life With ONE Single Question.”
For more by Stephenie Zamora, click here.
Her slam poem, “Shrinking Women,” which won Best Love Poem at the 2013 College Unions Poetry Slam Invitational in April, perfectly expresses the pressure women feel to take up less and less space, to be quiet, to be small and to eat sparingly.
She explains the difference between the ways men and women are socialized to her brother:
You have been taught to grow out, I have been taught to grow in. You learn from our father how to emit, how to produce, to roll each thought off your tongue with confidence. You used to lose your voice every other week from shouting so much. I learned to absorb. I took lessons from our mother in creating space around myself. I learned to read the knots in her forehead while the guys went out for oysters.
We recommend watching the whole video through — it’s pretty powerful stuff.