So what do we do about this? How do we manage to make ourselves felt with that one important post long enough to sustain a career of them? From my perspective I would say that you don’t because you simply can’t. There is competition at every turn and judgment follows, pro and con. We become so busy with the judgment that we don’t realize that we are more involved in the race than we were are about our role in the big picture. My suggestion is simple and outlined below. It might make a difference in how well you accomplish what you set out to with that tweet. After all, you designed it so that your intention can be felt and afford you the awareness of making real connections, rather than streams of strangers who actually skip over your tweets and posts.
When composing your tweet, be clear and concise and use hashtags that that will directly reflect your message. Make your own up to create a larger following.
Don’t just post tweets to people you don’t know unless they can directly use your information; that includes celebrities.
Know your audience and familiarize yourself with your followers and friends in social media. Communicate with them in personal ways to indicate that you have a real connection and not just one that you are using to tweet to numbers.
Remember there are real people receiving and posting messages. Take the time to get to know them and you will be making friends in your business and personal life. These are the people you can actually bond with that can make a difference to your days and the time you take to be on social media sites.
I have one “don’t” on my list. Don’t spam by retweeting everything and anything. If it does not serve a positive purpose, then think twice about posting because you always want to leave your followers with positive energy so that you always create more in life.
“Phone Stacking” is a game that makes everyone in the dinner party accountable to unplugging during their meal. Each participant puts his or her cell phone in the middle of the table, and whoever checks the device before the bill arrives gets stuck with the bill.
New York Times contributor Caroline Tell discussed the game during a HuffPost Live segment on Tuesday, telling host Caitlyn Becker that “whoever has to sneak a peak, has to pick up the tab.”
Watch the clip above for more and check out the full video about Screen Sense on HuffPost Live.
For more on The Third Metric, click here.
Reader’s Digest recently conducted a “Lost Wallet” Test to find which cities around the world had the highest return rates. Reporters dropped 12 wallets in 16 different cities, each containing a card with a name and phone number, a family photo and $50. The city of Helsinki in Finland was named the most honest city, with 11 of the 12 lost wallets returned.
New York City tied with Budapest, Hungary, as the next most honest city, with eight of the 12 dropped wallets being turned in. Libson, Portugal, was the least honest city, with only one wallet returned to its owner by a tourist.
Watch the video clip above to learn more about the social experiment, and head over to Reader’s Digest to learn more.
For more on The Third Metric, click here.
I facilitate a women’s group, and our topic for this month is “manifesting,” which is something we do everyday of our lives.
We wake up, get out of bed, move into our day, and flow into it as it unfolds. But does it move us along, or do we create our days as we wish? Our lives are created by us, which means that we are writing our story, and acting in our movie. We are the star, the author, the director and the producer of our great life epic, and how our movie will play out is completely up to us. Yes, there are things that occur in our “life movie” that seem out of our control — a storm happens, someone dear to our heart dies, a child leaves the nest, but the main direction our life is taking is decided by us, meaning we are the ones that determine where it is we want to go, and if there’s somewhere we are intent to get to, we are the ones to get us there. We are in the driver’s seat, and just like you wouldn’t wait around for someone else to take you where you want to go, you make that happen by getting into your car and driving there. If we had to depend on someone else to take us to our destinations, we wouldn’t be happy with that, and who knows if we’d even get to where we want to go, since that would be in someone else’s control, not ours.
Each day, we have the opportunity to create what we want, and if we perceive that there is something stopping us from doing that, we relinquish our ability to manifest what we desire. The obstacles that seem to be in our way might feel very real for us when things happen that can throw us off guard or even broadside us. Yes, you can lose a job, a lover or spouse can break your heart, your health gets shaken, but what you choose to do with whatever happens to you, good or bad, is still completely up to you. If something occurs that feels like it’s out of your control, and throws you off your center or makes you feel vulnerable or scared, what you need to do after you’ve mourned or healed from your pain or heartbreak is to get back up, and see yourself as the star of your life movie that you are.
Think of Gloria Swanson as Norma Desmond in the movie Sunset Boulevard. Her life was falling apart, and yet somehow she managed to be completely on when she said, “I’m ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille.”
Clearly that’s not going to be your movie, but hopefully you get the idea, that your life movie can play itself out the way you want it to. Norma Desmond was a “victim” in her movie, unfortunately, and like William Holden says in the narration as she walks down her grand “princess palace” staircase for her close-up, “Life, which can be strangely merciful, had taken pity on Norma Desmond. The dream she had clung to so desperately had enfolded her.” Yes, her dream had “enfolded” her as opposed to she unfolding her dream. If we look at that as a metaphor that we are the ones that make our dreams happen, and don’t wait for them to happen “to us,” we can see that it is up to us to create the life we want and believe is possible.
It’s your life movie, no one else’s. Make it what you want it to be. Dream big. Blockbuster? Lines around the block? Sold out? “Why reach for the stars when you can have the moon.”
For more by Ora Nadrich, click here.
For more on mindfulness, click here.
“Coming from a family of dysfunction, suicide — seven suicides, that’s a pretty powerful story,” Oprah says in the above clip from “Super Soul Sunday” on OWN. “And you’ve said that your family is your karma. What did you mean by that?”
“Well, I really think the heritage of being a Hemingway, it’s a big name,” Hemingway says. “It carries a lot of weight. And I think with that comes tremendous creativity, love, fame, whatever — but also with that comes the opposite. Because I think with darkness there is light. And so that darkness is that mental illness, that mental instability, that insecurity.”
“Yes,” Oprah says. “So in spite of, or maybe because of your family’s history with suicide and addiction and mental illness, you decided — made a decision — which I think is the number one spiritual choice that people make. It’s a decision, right?”
“Make a choice,” Williams adds.
“Make a choice to find a better way,” Oprah says.
“Right,” Hemingway nods.
I offered that the happiest people I know — and I included myself in this group — are the ones who express gratitude on a regular basis. I happen to start my day with gratitude, but it’s easy for me because I wake up to my two joyous dogs, Lucy and Tallulah, on either side of me. It’s hard to not be grateful when you wake up to pure unconditional playful love. They trigger the start of my gratitude list and then I move on from there. Maybe this is why dog owners tend to be happier. Dogs can’t help but trigger gratitude with their unconditional love and licks.
The top of my gratitude list stays the same each day, but the end of the list always surprises me. Sometimes I am grateful for the struggles, though not often. I’m working on that one. I’d like to be equally grateful for all of it one day.
When I meditate I also start with a gratitude list to center myself. It pulls me into the present. My list feels like a representation of who I am and where I am in that moment. It is a re-PRESENT-ation, pulling me to be fully in the now.
We are all our own little science labs. I say whatever works for you, do it. Gratitude pretty much never fails to work for me in raising my happiness quotient. It’s just fun that this video lets us know it’s scientifically proven and allows us to watch some other loving lab rats become more happy as they express their gratitude.
In the early- to mid-2000s, I did a lot of Landmark Education courses and I think what got me hooked on this work was the exercise in the very first course in their curriculum, the Landmark Forum, which requires you to pick up a phone and, among other things yet most important to me, express gratitude to someone you care about. I am so happy I was able to do this with both of my parents, for instance, in a way I never had before. These exercises catapulted my happiness quotient to a new level. But, most important they gave me what I’m sure will be a lifelong appreciation for expressing gratitude and its feel-good effects.
The best part of expressing gratitude like that shown in this video is the endless chain of positive events that you know were generated by these phone calls. Talk about paying it forward! You don’t even have to wonder about all the juicy goodness that will come in someone’s day after having been fully acknowledged. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
Questioning gravity is crazy. With videos like this, hopefully questioning gratitude will soon be equally insane.
It’s a form of denial. If I’m doing something purposely or unconsciously to get attention, I’m creating drama.
If I meet someone who rescues me from my drama, they will sooner or later go from rescuer to perpetrator. If I hand them all of my problems, allowing them to rescue me and still continue to treat my life in the same way… drama will follow. Instead of playing alone in the sandbox, we’ve now invited another person to play along with us. That is until we take ourselves in hand and grow up! We decide dressing up and playing victim, persecutor and rescuer is just not fun anymore!
Most relationships that are worthy of a soap opera or a dramatic miniseries have the individuals playing a role unconsciously, as they traipse around that drama triangle.
If I get involved with someone through a mutual case of loneliness, the relationship will eventually end in mutual loneliness.
Truly, after we’re done saving each other from being alone… what truth will we share?
We will create drama as the bond to keep us together.
When we wrap ourselves in a big bow, so we can pretend to be the perfect gift for our mate, we will eventually once again… create drama. Not being real, whether we’re normally the center of attention, or the quiet one is not a way to forge a true bond, eventually the real us will come right out!!
Drama comes along, because just as quick as one mask comes off, another one is created to sustain the relationship and yet, it won’t stop the drama.
Whatever is inauthentic in us that we bring into a relationship will come out as drama at some point. When we pay no awareness to our truth and live in a fantasy, then drama is a fundamental basis of connection in the relationship.
Once the honeymoon phase is over, we can expect drama if we weren’t paying attention to how we felt around this person. Meaning, if our focus was on a few good qualities that we so desperately wanted this person to fit, but we missed the flicker of anxiety every time he was rude to the waiter, then we can be assured drama will be a top priority.
Drama comes up in all sorts of way, when we practice no self-awareness and expect the other person to be our awareness. We want them to make us happy, and do all the heavy lifting associated with creating trust. This dooms the relationship to failure, because no one can do this for us. If we try to give responsibility of our emotional state to someone else, we can expect to be disappointed. It’s a perfect opportunity for more drama!
Insecurities that remain unchecked, create drama.
If we meet someone and we’re lonely, unhappy, fearful or in some insecure state, which indicates we’re not connected to ourselves… we can expect the same to be mirrored back to us by our partner in the future. The individual we draw into our drama usually shares the same unconscious way of operating in relationships.
Even so, drama is never about the other person. It’s about what we believe we’re supposed to receive and didn’t, whether it is a gesture, a word, an object or action. We feel let down and therefore entitled to create a hailstorm.
We create drama to keep everyone engaged in the soap opera. We do it out of fear. Fear of rejection, fear of loss, or even fear of being found out! We’d rather hide behind the curtain than be who we really are when we’re creating dramatic distractions.
We do it so we have to be rescued from ourselves. We do it maintain a distance, to survive, because we’re completely disconnected from loving ourselves. Those who join us on this stage love the opportunity to also dismiss their problems and jump right into helping us create drama. This way we both stay completely unaware of what is really going on for each of us as individuals. It’s an awesome match!
How do we stop the drama?
It starts with getting real. If we take a journey inside, we can find out what the impetus is for us to be the drama starter. We can understand why we need the attention and heightened sense of care we desperately cannot give to ourselves.
When we know why we feel needy, we’ll know why we create all the distractions, arguments and crazy making. We’ll see how we’ve been seeking outside of us, what we think we can’t fulfill within us.
If we really want to stop the drama pattern and get off the triangle, we should take some time to be alone and really, deal with our feelings and the anxiety they provoke. Shining the light of awareness inside of our emotions can bring us far more peace than being engaged in drama. Being rescued from our self-made dramas, doesn’t allow us to grow. It keeps us stuck in our childhood patterns, where we needed attention and drama is how we got it!