Fairness Is Love’s Currency

Fairness Is Love’s Currency
“Fairness does not mean everyone gets the same. Fairness means everyone gets what they need.” — Rick Riordan

Fairness is a value construct that is inborn into all of us. Even the smallest of children recognize and bear witness to experiences of injustice among their peers. This very human urge towards making things fair is one of the fundamental ways that love acts as a currency in life. All of our sporting events that occupy so much of our attention are a reflection of the drive we have towards fairness, whether in little leagues or professional sports, we are content that there are a set of rules that make the game fair for everyone. Without them, it is not a game. In fact, in some tight contests, a bad call that throws the fairness in the game is rehashed passionately for days after the event. In intimate relationships we rely on each other’s capacity for honesty and authenticity as the shared set of ground rules that make growing our vulnerability possible. And yet, most of the world’s most urgent crises can be traced back to unfairness both in the distribution of natural resources and the capital that serves as the accepted currency to make things happen. Many of life’s most challenging moral dilemmas stem from the cognitive dissonance created by our inherent tendency towards fairness and the many realities that support life’s inherent unfairness.

This collective cognitive dissonance around fairness as a guiding principle in finding balance on earth is growing. The seeds of all the Occupy movements were driven by this urge toward fairness. And the emerging movement towards impact investing is aspiring to answer this call. As one of the selected entrepreneurs for the SOCAP conference this week in the Bay area, I was honored to be a part of such a powerful group of solution makers. Indeed, it was clear that infused with sufficient capital, this small group of courageous inventors could probably solve the majority of the issues threatening survival around the globe. Yet, for all the buzz words on growing the good economy, like social return and triple bottom line — the investment community remains largely locked into fear-based models of investing, which requires financial returns and limited risk. The truth is that even among the wealthiest money is not experienced as a currency of freedom and love, but rather fear — of loss, of failure, of self.

Steve Wright of the Grameen Foundation was the singular voice of reason that I was privileged to hear. His talk about financial investing started with love. His courage to redefine the classic buzz words of social returns as effective long-term solutions to real problems and call out the fallacy of wealth preservation as a means of creating the sustainably poor was bold and awakening. Love is the currency of healing and capital is the means to generate more love. That is the real wealth, the consciousness that some things, actually most things that really matter don’t have a price.

Fairness is a measure of the heart. It comes when we trust that there is enough for everyone and when we really get that there is no other — no over there, but rather that we are all in this together. The truth is that we live on a small planet and the environmental crises that are increasingly threatening our security have no borders.

Money must become a currency of love for our survival and we can all rely on our sense of fair play to judge what we really have to give. From this perspective we will be able to measure our returns based on the vibrancy of the communities we create.

Coming soon, will be Good Clean Love’s benefit fund for positive change. This purpose will be fuel for our scale… A million bottles of lubricant is enough to generate a powerful currency of love into a world that works for everyone.

For more by Wendy Strgar, click here.

For more on emotional wellness, click here.

I Am Strong
I am strong because on October 15, 2010 at 37 weeks pregnant we walked into our OB office and found out our son Tiberius had passed away.

I am strong because I labored for 12 beautiful hours and gave birth to my stillborn son in a silent room.

I am strong because on October 22, 2010, my husband and I buried our first child.

I am strong because 12 weeks after we buried our first son we found out we were expecting again.

I am strong because on May 2, 2011, at 18 weeks pregnant, we found out that our second son Jacob would not be coming home with us, he was given a fatal diagnosis.

I am strong because despite having a fatal diagnosis we chose to carry Jacob and do everything we possibly could.

I am strong because during the next 18 weeks Jacob’s diagnosis changed into something no medical doctor had ever seen before and his prognosis became unknown.

I am strong because on September 5, 2011, our son Jacob was born via c-section. He cried even though we were told he would not.

I am strong because for the next 2 1/2 days Jacob fought so hard to stay with us and we fought so hard to keep him comfortable and did everything we could.

I am strong because at 7:45 p.m. on September 7th, we had to make a decision no parent should ever have to make; we pulled his life support and Jacob peacefully passed away.

I am strong because on September 14, 2011 we buried our second child.

I am strong because nine months after we buried Jacob we decided to try once more.

I am strong because we became pregnant with what we hoped would truly be our rainbow babe.

I am strong because at 18 weeks we found out we were having a healthy little girl.

I am strong because I carried her for 36 1/2 weeks all along knowing we could lose her too.

I am strong because on January 8, 2013, I was induced and we were on the way to meeting our miracle babe.

I am strong because after 16 rough hours of VBAC labor, our miracle baby, Phoebe Faith, was born. Crying, screaming, healthy and alive.

I am strong because even though I only parent one child, I am a mother of three.

I am strong because I have carried three children full term but two already reside in Heaven.

I am strong because I chose to cling onto hope and faith when everything else was against us.

I am strong because parenting a rainbow baby is a challenging time in life.

I am strong because I now live with PTSD and fight with it on a daily basis. But I REFUSE to let it define who I am.

I am strong because my hopes and dreams have been shattered, but I chose to hold on and now have a beautiful little girl who is the light of my life.

I am strong because I am sharing my video about my journey with you.

Please know my video does contain pictures of my boys after they have passed. If this is too much for you, please do not watch.

Mamas who have endured loss, don’t ever give up. Your rainbow could be one more rainy day away.

jessica nelles

This post originally appeared on Birth Without Fear’s Facebook page, as part of the “I Am Strong” series.


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